At the Feet of an Apostle of the Lord

My dear family!
I loved to hear from you today and I am doing SO well! I will reply to all of your questions in a letter today. I have been writing in a journal and I am going to send those pages to your in a letter as well. Mom, when you get them, will you just put them in a binder in the order they come? You are all welcome to read them. This way you will get a full experience since I don't have much time to write you.
What a week! I have been dying to write you all since Sunday and I think you will see why... So on Saturday night, my companion and I taught Kevin (a fake investigator). He knows the church is true, and the BOM but he won't read it and he won't get baptized for another twenty years. The lesson was only 20 minutes long but we did everything we could to talk to him and try to resolve his concers. We didn't get anywhere. At the end of the lesson, my companion and I just walked out of the room and started crying. We were so upset because we knew how important it was for Kevin to receive the gospel NOW and be baptized NOW. We were frustrated because we couldn't get that across to him. We sat in the cafeteria and cried for awhile together and then knelt down and prayed. I felt better after that prayer and was reassured that it was only week 2 and I can't expect so much out of myself. That was the first time I have cried since being in the MTC. Haha. It was definitely a learning experience. So I went to bed that night feeling a little discouraged. The next morning was Sunday and we prepared for sacrament meeting. It went really well but I was still feeling a little discouraged. We went on a church history tour after that and then came back to have a fireside. My district sang the EFY medley and we surprised the presidency by telling all of the missionaries to stand at the part where everyone sings together. They were all crying and they loved it. President Edwards stood up and said, "I haven't been able to put my finger on why this group is so special but now I can. It is because of your unity with each other. I've always seen unity in the districts but not unity all together. The Lord is so pleased with you all and he is choosing to show you that by sending an apostle here to the MTC. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland will be coming to speak to us tomorrow night." You can imagine what I was feeling at that point! I was so overjoyed and I felt that my heart was going to leap out of my chest. I immediately started to cry and I knew more than ever that My Heavenly Father KNOWS me and LOVES me. He knew I was discouraged and he found a way to show me that I am doing good and that he is pleased. Well, I will skip now to Monday night and tell your about our fireside with Elder Holland...
We ate an early dinner at 4:30 and then went to the chapel room to prepare ourselves. I was lucky enough to sit in the second row (well I saved the seat the night before...haha). We sat and waited for him to come for what felt like 10 hours but was more like 30 minutes. Finally, he came in, only about 4 feet away from me was an apostle of the Lord! The first ting I noticed was the spirit that flowed into the room. His presence was so powerful and at the same time, I realized that he was only just a man. The second thing I noticed were his piercing blue eyes. When people say that when he looks at you, it feels like he's looking into your soul, I can testify that is true! He walked onto the stand with the MTC presidency, the area seventy and Elder Kearon from the quorum of the seventy. Elder Holland, as he was taking a seat, blew us a kiss and motioned for us to sit down. At this point,I was already crying as the spirit was so strong and I just felt completely humbled in gratitude. Presidnet Edwards introuced. Elder Donaldson spoke first and just bore his testimony. Then the Abinidi district (that is me!) got to stand and perform the same EFY medley we had done the night before. How many people can say they have sung for an apostle?! I was so happy to be able to do this. Wee began to sing the song and I was so nervous that I could hardly sing. When it got to the point where everyone joined together, every missionary in the room, about forty of us, stood up and began to sing. At the same time, me and my district turned around to face the people on the stand. The spirit was SO overpowering, the strongest I have ever felt in my life. I tried my best, but I couldn't finish the song. I was so choked up to see every person on the stand with tears streaming down their faces and I felt that I was going to lose it! My shoulders were doing that shaking thing and I couldn't even sing at all. I eventually had to look up at the celing to calm myself down. Haha. Elder Holland has his eyes closed with his hear back and tears down his face. I am so amazed at the ability that music has to bring the spirit. It's the language of angels, and a language I don't think me or anyone fully understands. Elder Kearon then spoke and thanked us. AFter his message was Elder Holland. He got up to speak and oh was it amazing! At times he would just grab the pulpit and speak with such authority! I couldn't take my eyes off him. The first thing he said was, "53 years, 5 months, and 11 days ago, my life was changed forever. That is the day I stepped onto british soil for my mission. Every blessing I have now came from those thwo years. My mission meant everything to me." He could hardly finish that phrase. At one point he got really fired up like he does in general conference, and said with so much authority, "You embrace your mission--give it your heart and soul. You cannot be half hearted! You must hit the ground running! You don't know  a lot, but you know enough to start. Don't miss a moment of it! If you do, the church will survive, the mission will survive, what's irreplaceable is what's lost in your life. If you're any kind of missionary at all, you will weep and wail when that release letter comes. MAke sure you are God's investigator. He wants you to do what you want your ivestigators to do. He is trying to make sure that you are converted. I can demand and insist that there will be one convert. That is you! You WILL be a bliever regardless. You will have this! It will become your DNA and you will be converted to the marrow of your bones. This is your rebirth, that mighty change. You embrace it! You give it all you've got. Jump into the pool, there is water in it and the Lord wants you to swim. Give the Lord a littlel bit and he will give you his all. Don't be a missionary that checks this off the list. Don't say, "I can't wait for real life..." THIS IS REAL LIFE! Capital R, Capital L. (Imagine him saying this with his hands holding onto the pulpit,almost shouting), There is NOTHING more real than what you're doing right now! You are NEVER to set this experience aside. It is to be a part of your soul forever. I can deal with a lot of things but I cannot deal with a missionary that comes home less active. You will NOT come home early. You will serve 18 month to two year misisons. It is up to you how long your mission lasts, it can start now, or it can start when you only have 3 weeks left, but for your benefit, I hope it starts now!"
WOW!!! I know that was all a little jumbled but that is what in essence he said. It was so powerful. So powerful. I wish you all could have been there to feel of the spirit that that man has. I will never put this experience aside. I will do my very best and be the tool that Heavenly Father needs. And when I get out into that mission field, I will hit the ground running. I will jump into the pool, because I'm not afraid to get wet. I am so excited to be going to Birmingham in 3 days. I loved my experience at the MTC but it is time. I'm ready to do the Lord's work.
After Elder Holland spoke, we all got the opportunity to shake his hand which was an experience I won't forget. I don't really know if I even said anything to him because was just in awe the whole time. It was so amazing. I also got to shake Elder Kearon's hand and he looked at me and said, "You just look like a missionary! You are so bright and so happy! Keep it up." That was a great compliment to hear.
Well family, Sorry i wasn't able to tell you about all my experiences I had this week, but I thought i'd just tell you about the most important one. I am so blessed! This was no coincidence. Elder Donaldson told me that night that a coincidence is when God wants to remain anonymous. How true is that! I am so blessed to have experienced this and it has strengthed my testimony to know that the Lord loves me and that he is in every detail of my life!
Well, I love you all. Have a great week and don't forget to read your scriptures every day and thank your Father in Heaven for all he has given you!
Love,
Sister Jensen